We didn't talk much yesterday and when we did, I wasn't very talkative and he was very sleepy. He said bye without saying, "I love you" so... I did the same.
Then I sent a text message. This will always be a mistake because text messages are either emotionally loaded or they're not. And the recipient usually can't tell.
"Maybe we can work something into our schedules where we're actually nice to each other," I said.
I included the winky face icon to soften the blow. Then I swallowed my pride and told him I loved him. Twelve hours later, he's MIA. So, twelve hours later, I'm going through the assumption process.
The assumption process will always go straight to the worst possible scenario and then waver back and forth between lesser and greater cases until the assumption is put to rest by the other party.
My wildly irrational thought process is as follows: "He took offense. He's not going to talk to me the rest of the day. He's probably going to go talk to a girl about it. And she'll be really cute and sympathetic. And then he'll think, 'Why isn't my girlfriend more cute and sympathetic?' And THEN he'll think, 'Why aren't I dating this girl?' Then, we'll break up. And it will be all my fault because I made a mild, sarcastic blow at our pathetic communication efforts this week."
The truth is, he's got Midsummer call-backs all day and his focus is probably there. This isn't about me, I have to keep reminding myself.
To my friends and relations who are happily married or committed in some type of fashion, you are probably laughing at the woes of early relationship struggles. Perhaps, you are harkening back memories of such times you experienced in the beginning. Or perhaps it was all peaches and cream for you. Either way, I'm looking to see if it ever gets easier.
In other news, I thought I was going to hate "Across The Universe." I didn't. It's a very beautiful film... underdeveloped characters and plot, aside. Plus, I will always be into rugged British boys in sweater vests and ties.
Have a fine day, all. :)
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3 comments:
Well, I think there is a relationship in our thought process as it applies to the opposite sex, which is odd since I AM the opposite sex. I also tend to grab the worst case scenario until something talks me out of it.
BTW - I am glad that I don't bore you. When did I graduate from "Blogs that don't make me wretch?" ;) (winky face to soften the tone)
Ooh, rugged British boys in sweater vests and ties. I'm all over it. (I actually had planned to see this movie, now I'm just more excited)
Good luck with the relationship. I'd love to give advice, but I generally only give relationship advice if I am drunk, and then, it should never be followed.
Sorry you were hurt. My thoughts are with you.
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